Trauma heals different because it doesn’t care for your thoughts. It reaches into the depths of forgotten language, of memory, of feelings and sensations to tug us into a place where drowning is the only inevitable solution. 

I was terribly afraid of the dark and being alone. I feared sleep. I’d fight the urge to relax at any and all chance. The moment I’d start to slip into the unconscious, my nervous system would send a jolt down my spine to wake up. Be alert. It’s not safe to let my guard down.