You cannot heal through your thinking. To heal at the matrix level means to get to the root causation of all forms of ailments. Which is of course, where the root of all of our dreams and aspirations live too. 

My entire system feels like it’s on the brink of collapse, and my normal coping strategy (leaving my body) is the very strategy I am cognizant I am healing. The only way out, is through.

I want to belong to my body. That has been my intention for some time. I want to feel safe and whole. I want to be free to express myself without limitation. Without self judgement or criticism. Without worrying whether I am too big or too much or too of anything for the others in the room. I want to live embodied.